the moral of today's story, boys and girls, is that life can be pretty fucking hard. even without war, even without hunger. remember how grade seven seemed so hard in grade seven and now you look back and scoff? don't scoff, you asshole! grade seven is as hard to that grade sevener as any strife you've got going now. maybe this is my way of saying that the problems I had today will sound too itty bitty pathetic on paper. but add them up and you get a lump in your throat and a lousy feeling all day and a headache too boot. so fuck you, no. i won't tell. i won't be that reality tv contestant loser of a sucker that needs so badly to open my overcoat and reveal all that i've got exposed underneath. nope. won't do it. will just be annoyingly, angrily, bitterly vague. life can be hard. and you know what? i like about me that i don't have to lie about it. so maybe i couldn't smile at you on my walk home. so what? since when is true happiness measured in a smile? since when is true love measured in a kiss? since when is truth measured?

Moment of Zen

-Ritsurin Koen, Takamatsu

After Concert Conversation

-The problem is every new Sarah (Harmer) song sounds exactly like her old stuff.
-It's weird cause Rufus (Wainwright) has a super distinct voice - you can always tell it's a Rufus song - and yet he never seems to fall into that problem. Why is that?
-Song structure. Sarah needs to work on her craft.
-You think maybe she needs a collaborator?
-Totally! Then she could write the lyrics-
-She writes great lyrics, those canoe on lake images, those camping in Ontario images.
-Yeah, and then just get someone else to write the music.
-Perfect.
-Done.
-Done.

Tonight Will Be Fine

Sometimes I find I get to thinking of the past.
We swore to each other then that our love would surely last.
You kept right on loving, I went on a fast,
now I am too thin and your love is too vast.
But I know from your eyes
and I know from your smile
that tonight will be fine,
will be fine, will be fine, will be fine
for a while.

I choose the rooms that I live in with care,
the windows are small and the walls almost bare,
there's only one bed and there's only one prayer;
I listen all night for your step on the stair.

But I know from your eyes
and I know from your smile
that tonight will be fine,
will be fine, will be fine, will be fine
for a while.

Oh sometimes I see her undressing for me,
she's the soft naked lady love meant her to be
and she's moving her body so brave and so free.
If I've got to remember that's a fine memory.

And I know from her eyes
and I know from her smile
that tonight will be fine,
will be fine, will be fine, will be fine
for a while.

-L. Cohen

Boob Tube

Admit it: TV is a drug you are a sucker for, and too much of it - especially the flipping-flipping ultra crappy reality stuff - makes you feel low, always worse than you felt when you sat down to watch it. Cause really, how many times in your life, Jon, have you ever gotten up after watching 3 hours, stretched out your arms cat-like and said, ahhhhhh, I feel grrrrreat!?

I get it about fast food (only taken me 31 years); McChickens and french fries these aren't real food; they aren't nourishment. But then why do I persist in thinking that television is truly relaxing in the rejuvenating make me feel better sense of the word?

Lonely Beach, Ko Chang, Thailand